"On the way I met a sadhu who was begging in the streets, but who had some very great advice for me. He said, "Until you attain your aim and master, don't go with anybody else."

Ans : I was a student in a science college in Orissa with an aim to do well and achieve high results. I was planning to go into the engineering line with the goal of getting a job, but I intended at the same time to lead the bachelor life. I had thought through this idea of not starting a family, and felt it would be better to be alone and have more time to pursue my study. I would also be free of a lot of unnecessary sorrow and I would be more able to help others-through serving my parents and my neighbors. I felt I could work to earn money for my parents and community. When I see others suffering, I feel compassion for them, just as I want compassion when I suffer. I learned this from my mother. She was a simple village woman and was illiterate, but she was very kind to our neighbours. She would help others at every opportunity as she was a pious and religious lady, but as I said, she was not an educated person. My father was in government service, and he was also the sort of person who was interested in helping others. The temptation to lead the worldly life was just not there for me. When I was a small boy, 10 years old or so, I was influenced a bit by an older crowd that was not on the right path, but this did not stay with me.

During my period of study in the college I tried to pass the exam, but I failed the exam the first time. The second time I tried even harder, but again I failed. That was the turning point for me. I tried my level best-why did I fail? I saw others who didn't work as hard who passed. What is wrong with me; what is wrong with my karma? Slowly I turned toward spirituality. I felt I must correct my actions-I felt my misguided actions had been the reason I had not passed. My mind then turned toward God. Only He can solve this, I thought. I began to see the sorrows of the world. I would go to the cremation ground to see what was there and meditate on the implications of death. I saw that one day I would also suffer like this. I saw suffering all around me; I wanted to know how to get away from this suffering.

I had been studying in Puri and I saw a Sivananda bookstall there, and I got some of Swami Sivananda's books. I would go to the Jaganath Temple for darshan and I would study the Scriptures, as I knew some Sanskrit. I began to chant some of the slokas and I entered into discussions about the sorrows of life with like-minded friends. We started to think about the possibility of going to the Himalayas, but it was only a vague notion in our minds. At the bookstall, I saw the book Practice of Brahmacharya. The book said to preserve veerya and do asanas. This aspect of life had been troubling me, and I found the practice of brahmacharya helpful in this respect. I opened and read the book from beginning to end in the bookstall itself-so much devotion and interest were there! I asked the salesperson, "Who is this Swami Sivananda?" I thought this swami could help me. I thought, these things he is talking about, I can also do them. I will get more power, and I can be a great yogi! Even in the world one needs a teacher, so I too must go to a teacher. I asked for another book and he suggested Sure Ways for Success in Life and God-Realisation. The ethical teachings in this book had an impact on me.

My elder brother told me to go for higher studies, but I refused. He told me to take a job, and that also I refused. He was quite confused by this point! He then urged me to take an eighteen-month teacher training course, which I agreed to do, but my idea was to finish the course and then leave all this behind. I joined the school, but I continued to study the Divine Life Society books and eventually became a member of the DLS. During my stay in the college I went on reading the spiritual books that I came across, and I had the opportunity to meet Swami Chidananda. After completion of the course, the exam was still three months away, so I came back home for the interim period. I ended up staying there only one night.

I had been thinking to leave my home and go to Rishikesh. That very day I made a specific resolve to go and meet my guru, whoever he may be, because I knew he would receive me and teach me. I left one small note for my family on the table that said that I was going to search for my guru. I went out to the road and walked a while to catch a bus, but my brother-in-law happened to be on that bus, and as I did not want to be seen, I got off the bus before he could spot me. I walked ten kilometres to get away from that area so that I would not be recognized by anyone. On the way I met a sadhu who was begging in the streets, but who had some very great advice for me. He said, "Until you attain your aim and master, don't go with anybody else." This man also gave me a copy of the Bhagavatam.

Three days it took for me to reach Rishikesh. I traveled by train from Cuttack to Rishikesh without a ticket, because I was told that monks did not need a ticket on the train. No conductor ever stopped me, so I was able to make it all the way without difficulty. It was faith that got me here. I arrived on 6. April, 1982. When I first arrived, I stayed outside beside the main gate of the Ashram, waiting for my master to come. I stayed there through the night. They gave me permission for three days stay at first. I met with Swami Krishnananda while wearing sannyas clothes, and he told me to go away! I later met with Swami Madhavananda, and he gave me permission to stay for 25 days. Swami Devananda put me to work in the langar (dining hall), and later I came to work in the membership department, and over time came to be admitted as a resident of the Ashram. I wanted to do service. Swami Krishananda came to recognize my servicefulness, and he developed affection for me. I took Swami Chidananda as my guru, and after 20 days I received mantra initiation from him. I stayed here twelve years continuously; I didn't even go on a yatra (pilgrimage) during that time, as I felt that I should serve my guru first. From the time I was nine years old, I had had the idea to serve my master, and now I was getting the opportunity to actually do it!
Eventually I had the idea to study Vedanta and Sanskrit. I got permission and stayed six years in Varanasi, Omkareshwar and Haridwar doing these studies. I left to go there in 1994 and last year, 2001, I returned to the Ashram. The study has given me knowledge and clear ideas about how to lead my life. I teach Vedanta class here in the Ashram; we are doing Vivekachudamani now.

I took sannyas because being a sannyas will help me to attain my goal. The Upanishads say that you can attain ultimate knowledge only after you have become a sannyas. This great knowledge is not possible for people without sannyas. I took the orange robes in 1989 when I was 29 years old.

My sadhana consists primarily of vichara (inquiry). Early on I did japa and also wrote my mantra, but that is not done as much anymore. I study Scriptures, do some japa, prayer, pujas and meditation, but I definitely do vichara at all times, even while working. There is a level of devotion there. I also do bhajans and kirtan and I enjoy reading the lives of saints. Gurudev has given me the opportunity to serve him through this work, and through this practice I will be purified and get knowledge and ultimate union.