"Whatever comes my way, I offer at the feet of Gurudev. I asked him to allow me to be compassionate, to serve all lovingly and to help them in any way possible-and that he will give me the strength to carry this out to the best of my ability."

Ans : I was one of ten children in our family. We were living in a town in Malaysia; my parents had come there originally from Sri Lanka. Ours was a relatively pious family, and we did our prayers, we went to temple and we were devotees of Lord Karthikeyan. Religion played a major role in the lives of the family members. I was myself interested in bhajans and prayers. My parents wanted me to study to a higher level to become somebody, but I was not really drawn to the worldly life. I did however have an interest in dancing and going on camping trips! I completed my secondary education, and became a very active member of St. John's Ambulance, which is group helping sick people and doing other volunteer work. Every weekend we would help in some area. I had various labouring jobs until I came to back to my hometown and began working in an automobile assembly plant. I worked there for 18 years, and my final job there was as a supervisor. Almost every weekend I was working with St. John's Ambulance, but I wasn't actually pursuing any kind of what you could call spiritual practice, except my prayers to Lord Karthikeyan.

Once it so happened that I was at a Divine Life Society function and dancing very energetically. This one swami was there and he was very impressed with my liveliness and enthusiasm. He called me over and enquired as to who I was, and he got me immediately involved in the DLS. Whatever function was going on, he would ring me up and take me to that function. I learned to sing bhajan and kirtan from him. This contact with him also changed my outlook on food, and I became a vegetarian, and I gave up all spicy food. I stopped going to the movies and no longer went on so many camping trips. I also limited my contact with friends, because most of my friends were out-going types and were doing things I was no longer interested in. I resigned from St. John's Ambulance simply because I had so much more work in the DLS branch.

I stayed affiliated with that branch for three years, and then I resigned my job in the automobile plant and moved to the Batu Caves branch of the DLS. My family was not happy with me for resigning. I said to them that Gurdev would take care of me! I resolved to never come to anybody for help. I was doing seva (volunteer service) in the branch there, including working in the "Clinic Sivananda" for ten years. I didn't have a paying job, but I was living off my savings. I became more engrossed in Gurdev's teachings. Although Swami Chidananda is my guru, I see Gurdev as my guiding light in every movement I make. I feel that he clears my doubts if I bring them forward to him. During those ten years I had a lot of obstacles. I would cry and ask 'why are these obstacles coming to me?' I came to understand that facing these things was part of my karma.

Due to these obstacles, I put forward my wishes to leave that place and come to the Sivananda Ashram. I submitted my letter of application to come here to Swami Chidananda in 1999, and Swamiji told me to come stay here in this Ashram and do some work here. I came originally on a tourist visa, and then I went back home and got a visa that can be renewed each year. I came back here in 2000 and since then at Swamiji's direct request I've been serving the elderly people in a home for them called Santosh Niwas. Most of my time is spent with the old people. I go there at 6:30 am each morning. I find that the old people need someone to talk to; I also oversee their food and medicine and have prayers in the morning for them and then help serve them their meals.

My personal sadhana, well, this service is my best personal sadhana. That is where I learned to be compassionate and tolerant, because taking care of old people is not easy. This has trained me to become more loving and accepting. This service does not leave me much time for other practice. I feel so much closer to Gurudev now that I am in his abode and doing his work.

I took mantra diksha in 1982 from Swami Chidananda in Guru Niwas, and in 1990 I took brahmachari diksha, and in 1995 I took sannyas diksha. I became a sannyas to avoid the possibility of marriage, as my mother was pressuring me to marry. After my mother died, I spoke to my father who had supported me in my desire to not marry, and he gave me the encouragement to take sannyas. My father wanted to see me in these saffron robes, but he died before he could see me. I offered prayers for my father's soul. Although I don't keep in touch with my family myself, they ring me up and send me letters. They now understand my reasons for taking sannyas. They haven't seen me for many years. I have a surrendered my future to Gurudev. Whatever comes my way, I offer at the feet of Gurudev. I asked him to allow me to be compassionate, to serve all lovingly and to help them in any way possible-and that he will give me the strength to carry this out to the best of my ability.